100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 22- Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.  If you cannot extend God’s grace to your husband, who can you extend it to?  Be swift in forgiveness.  Your husband will see Christ’s face in yours when you do this.  I never hold grudges with my husband.  He, in turn, appreciates my forgiveness and is also quick to forgive me when I offend him.  Darrell & I have decided collectively that life is way too short to live out grudges.  Let your husband see Christ’s face in yours and you will soon see that he, too, will swiftly forgive you in return.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 21- Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him. We, as women, tend to want to be supermom or superwife or superwoman.  We must put God first in our lives, then our spouse, then our children and so forth.  He should get your attention above all others in your life.  You must nourish your relationship(s) at home first before tending to any and all other commitments. Darrell and I choose to participate in out-of-the-home activities together. We have very similar hobbies and love spending time together always.  Leave time for your husbands, ladies….before ANYONE else.  He should get the “best” of you. All others should get the “leftovers”…LOL.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 20- Talk with him/her about having specific family goals for each year to achieve together to feel closer as a marital team.  Darrell and I discuss our daily goals, weekly goals, monthly then yearly goals.  We are a team.  We consider one another’s personal goals and our goals as a family unit.  We are all very driven individuals and even moreso as a strong family. It draws us all closer together as we help each other achieve our individual goals as well as our goals as a  family.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 19- Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.  Most men and women, for that matter, like to be “shown” love.  Darrell and I took the “love language” quiz to figure out what our love language is.  This is in “The 5 Love Language” book by Dr. Gary Chapman.  You should check it out.  It’s a great book!  I was not all surprised at our results.  Here is the quiz below….have fun!

Not so sure what your Love Language is? That’s okay, I didn’t know for the longest time. I mean, I suspected, but I wasn’t entirely sure.  If you’re in the same boat as me, or if perhaps you can’t decide between two (or three), a quiz might be the right next step for you!

Below is a quiz adapted from Gary Chapman’s book, “The Five Love Languages.” It is designed to help you to understand the in which you best receive (and give) love.

The Love Language Quiz consists of 30 pairs of statements.  Choose ONE statement in each pair - the one that best represents your desire.  Keep track of your answers: write down the letter of each statement you choose.  (Make sure you’re only choosing one!)

The Love Language Quiz:

1.	I like to receive love notes from my husband. I like to be hugged by my husband.	A E
2.	I like to spend one-to-one time with my husband. I feel loved when my husband gives practical help to me.	B D
3.	I like it when my husband give me gifts. I like leisurely visits and long trips with my husband.	C B
4.	I feel loved when my husband does things to help me. I feel loved when my husband touches me.	D E
5.	I feel loved when my husband puts his arm around me. I feel loved when my husband surprises me with a gift.	E C
6.	I like to go almost anywhere with my husband. I like to hold hands with my husband.	B E
7.	Visible symbols of love (gifts) are very important to me. I feel loved when my husband tells me he loves me.	C A
8.	I like to sit close to my husband. I like for my husband to tell me I am attractive.	E A
9.	I like to spend time with my husband. I like to receive little gifts from my husband.	B C
10.	Words of acceptance, especially from my husband, are important to me. I know my husband loves me when he helps me.	A D
11.	I like being together and doing things with my husband. I like it when my husband speaks kind words to me.	B A
12.	What my husband does affects me more than what he says. Hugs make me feel connected to and valued by my husband.	D E
13.	I value praise from my husband. Small, meaningful gifts from my husband shows me how much he cares.	A C
14.	I feel close to my husband when we are talking or doing something together. I feel closer to my husband when he touches me often.	B E
15.	I like for my husband to compliment my achievements. I know my husband loves me when he helps me with something he hates.	A D
16.	I like to be touched as my husband walks by. I like it when my husband shows genuine interest in what I am saying.	E B
17.	I feel loved when my husband helps me with jobs or projects. I really enjoy receiving gifts from my husband.	D C
18.	I like for my husband to compliment my appearance. I feel loved when my husband takes time to understand my feelings.	A B
19.	I feel secure when my husband is touching me. When my husband runs errands for me, it makes me feel loved.	E D
20.	I appreciate the many things that my husband does for me. I like the thoughtful gifts that my husband makes for me.	D C
21.	I really enjoy the feeling I get when my husband gives me undivided attention. I really enjoy the feeling I get when my husband cleans the house for me.	B D
22.	I feel loved when my husband celebrates my birthday with a gift. I feel loved when my husband tells me how important I am to him.	C A
23.	I know my husband is thinking of me when he gives me a gift. I feel loved when my husband helps with my chores.	C D
24.	I appreciate it when my husband listens patiently and doesn’t interrupt me. I never get tired of receiving gifts from my husband.	B C
25.	I like knowing my husband is concerned enough to help with my daily tasks. I enjoy taking trips with my husband, no matter where we go.	D B
26.	I enjoy kissing & cuddling with my husband. I enjoy surprise gifts from my husband.	E C
27.	My husband’s encouraging words give me confidence. I like to watch movies with my husband.	A B
28.	Gifts from my husband are always special to me. I love it when my husband can’t keep his hands off me.	C E
29.	I feel loved when my husband enthusiastically helps me despite being busy. I feel loved when my husband tells me how much I am appreciated.	D A
30.	I love hugging and kissing my husband after we’ve been apart for a while. I love hearing my husband tell me that he missed me.	E A

Now that you’re finished, count the number of times you wrote down each letter.  One of them should seem more dominant than the others. That one will be your love language!!

Mostly A’s: Words of Affirmation

Mostly B’s: Quality Time

Mostly C’s: Receiving Gifts

Mostly D’s: Acts of Service

Mostly E’s: Physical Touch

TODAY'S WORD WITH MARIA FULCHER

TODAY’S WORD WITH MARIA FULCHER

Revelation 21:8

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral/whoremongers, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.”

God’s law will still be in effect once His Kingdom is established.  Even after the Millennium, when New Jerusalem comes down, no lawbreaker will be allowed in the city. In Revelation 22, the last chapter of the Bible, obedience to God's law is the central issue. This is very clear proof that the law of God, which reflects the holy conduct of the Almighty, will be the standard for all eternity! 

Do you see yourself in this verse from the Bible?  You say you are saved, but do you continue bad behavior in the eyes of our Lord?  Are you still cowardly and you don’t speak up and spread the word of God?  Are you ye of little faith?  Have you been an unfaithful spouse?  Do you lie?  God’s word is very simplified in this verse.  Do YOU want your portion to be…..THE LAKE OF FIRE?  Not me.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 18-. Compliment him/her often.  Your spouse needs your “stamp of approval”.  When your spouse believes that you admire qualities about them, they will be confident with others.  I compliment Darrell on a daily basis about something.  Just so he knows that I see and acknowledge the good things I see in him.  Try this today and you will be surprised at the positive response you receive back from your spouse.

Me and Cyn-Cyn, love this girl!

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Destin 2011

Day 17- Don’t allow family members to treat him/her disrespectfully. Defend him/her to anyone that dishonors his/her place as your spouse.  You have “left” your family to join him/her.  Darrell and I have had situations where we have had to defend the other to family members.  It is definitely a sad situation to have to do so, but is imperative to your well being as a couple.  Darrell honors me all the days of our lives and I him.  We have been joined, by God,  as one and there is nothing or no one, including family members, that can sever the strong bond that we have formed.  What we have tethered, no man or woman will ever undo.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 16- The first minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. Try to make that time a positive experience. (Ease into the negative.)  Don’t bombard your spouse with negative energy the minute he/she steps into the door.  Darrell & I greet each other with an immediate embrace and kiss the minute we see one another.  That sets the tone for the rest of our evening together.  He already feels secure after that initial greeting and can handle anything that comes his way in a positive manner. 

My Sweet Reagan Kassidy Fulcher

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 15- Give him/her special time with you apart from the children.  Darrell and I love our “alone” time.  We have certain rituals that we follow each and every day.  We talk on the way into work in the mornings. We call and text each other throughout the day.  We have time at night that’s just for us.  You too should always make time for your spouse every day of your life.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 14- Show interest in what he/she feels is important in life.  If it’s important to Darrell, it’s important to me.  He KNOWS that I am interested in how he feels about those things.  We have a policy to always ask one another what’s going on in the other’s life.  It has made us so much closer.  We do this on a daily basis.  He knows he can come to me with anything in confidence and I will always understand and show interest.

The many faces of Maria.  (:

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 13-  Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives. There are so many things that my husband does right, we’d be here all day if I were to attempt to list them. J  But, it does take effort sometimes to think of those things.  And, usually, it has NOTHING at all to do with him.  Tonight, compliment him on a job well done or thank him for helping with the dishes, the clothes or the kids.  You’d be surprised how far that goes with him.  I have found when Darrell feels appreciated, it’s a lot easier for him to receive…ahem….criticism.  And, he begins to take initiative on helping out instead of having to be asked to help out.  J

Tylar & I at a MCHS Bulldog game!

TODAY'S WORD WITH MARIA FULCHER

TODAY'S WORD WITH MARIA FULCHER

"…Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered"
(1 Peter 3:7, NLT)

Did you know that the way you treat others has an impact on the effectiveness of your prayers? The Bible says that the prayer of the righteous person is powerful. But if we aren't treating others with honor, kindness and respect, then we aren't allowing His righteousness to operate in us. When we don't treat others the way we should, it closes the door to God's power and hinders our prayers.

This is especially true in a marriage relationship. Marriage isn't just an agreement between two people to live life together. Marriage is a God-ordained institution that helps us understand love and unity. When two people are married, they become one physically, spiritually and emotionally. This particular passage is directed toward husbands, but it applies to all believers as well. We should always treat others "with understanding," which means considering their needs above our own. We should always aim to treat others with kindness, dignity and respect, and quickly choose forgiveness.

Remember, the way we treat others is the only thing that matters in eternity, and it impacts our prayers on earth. So today, choose love, choose forgiveness, and choose to treat others with respect so that your prayers can be powerful and effective the way God promises!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father in heaven, I want to live in Your ways. I want Your power to flow though me. Show me how to treat others with the highest level of love and respect. Let my words and actions always honor You so that my prayers will be powerful and effective in Jesus' name. Amen.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

Day 12- When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.  Darrell enjoy our “alone” time together.  We talk about everything but problems.  We can truly ride down the road together to the store and have fun.  Date night is for the two of you to “unwind” together.  It’s difficult to achieve that if you are bringing up issues that can truly wait for another time to be discussed.  Our favorite date night activity is dinner and a movie. 

Christmas 2010

TODAY'S WORD WITH MARIA FULCHER

Today’s Word with Maria Fulcher:  Raising Godly Sons

I was recently blown away after seeing a young teenage boy on Facebook wearing a T-shirt exploiting a young, beautiful woman almost completely naked.  What shocked me about this particular child wearing the shirt was this….his mother claims she is a very religious person.  So, what do we have in this situation?  What boundaries are we setting for our young male sons?  Are there any? 

I would NEVER allow my teenage son to wear such a provocative shirt exploiting women.  My son is being taught to admire women, respect them and hold them to high regard.  He will not ever be allowed to exploit women in such a despicable way. 

What is at the heart of your desire to raise a Godly son?

In our secular society, it is difficult enough for teenage boys to “fit in”.  For any boy to be a “good” child, he MUST be raised by God’s truth.  I want my son to know all the principles taught in the Bible about growing into a Godly man.  I want my son have a love and a passion for God which will, in turn, spill out into a love for all mankind, especially women. 

My expectations and goals for my son are far too important to sacrifice his reputation by wearing such “garb”.  There are many voices telling me how to parent my child in our secular society.  But, I choose to listen to only one voice.  God’s voice.

This is what God tells me about raising my son up into a Godly man:

            Establish and live God’s standards (Deuteronomy 6:1) Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it.

            Pass it on to next generations (Deuteronomy 6:2) So that you and your son and your grandson might fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.

               

What God says about women who falsely teach our sons (Revelation 2:20) But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols.

So, I beg of you ladies, raise your son up to respect women; to put them on a “pedestal”, so to speak; to listen and learn righteous things from them; to lead them and their future children in the way you would want your husband to lead you and your family. 

Thomas, 10 and Dalton, 15~my precious sons.

100 Ways and 100 Days To Love Your Spouse

11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion, giving him/her time to adjust.  It takes all of us time to get used to new ways of doing things.  Consider your spouse’s consideration and input on anything majorly different that you hope to accomplish….together.  Darrell & I discuss every single minute decision in our lives, together.  It doesn’t matter how small the matter or how large.  We ALWAYS consult the other.  If you don’t consider your mate’s wishes and input and ideas, you shouldn’t be changing anything. 

Destin 2010, One of my favorite pictures of the two of us!

TODAY'S WORD WITH MARIA FULCHER

TODAY'S WORD WITH MARIA FULCHER:  MONEY ISSUES!!!

1.      The Bible teaches the proper attitude toward money. Money becomes a problem when it is misused. Paul taught Timothy,

But godliness with contentment is great gain: for we brought nothing into the world, for neither can we carry anything out; but having food and covering we shall be therewith content. But they that are minded to be rich fall into a temptation and a snare and many foolish and hurtful lusts, such as drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil: which some reaching after have been led astray from the faith, and have pierced themselves through with many sorrows (1 Tim. 6:6-10 NKJV).

      2. Secondly, discipline is necessary in order to handle money properly. In addition to having the right attitude about money, we must practice biblical discipline regarding the management of our resources.

Paul taught:

For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, If any will not work, neither let him eat. For we hear of some that walk among you disorderly, that work not at all, but are busybodies. Now them that are such we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread (2 Thess. 3:10-12).

What did Paul mean when he wrote to Christians at Rome saying "Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law"? (Rom. 13:8NKJV). This does not mean that one cannot buy anything on credit. You don't owe anything until the payment is due. It does mean "Pay your bills." It also means that we should not over-extend our selves.

Here are some ways to tell if you are living beyond your means:

• "Maxing-out" your credit cards.
• Borrowing from the cash value of your insurance policy.
• Making new loans to pay off old ones.
• Using credit to buy luxury items or to take vacations.
• Borrowing money from your friends or relatives.
• Always paying your bills late.
• Having nothing in a savings account.
• Paying the smallest amount permitted on credit cards.
• Applying for new credit cards for more borrowing power.

If you find that you are living beyond your means, then begin to take action to either increase your income or decrease your spending.

Debt can be a millstone around the neck and can ruin a marriage. We must discipline ourselves to live within our means. Remember:

"If your out-going exceeds your income, your upkeep will be your downfall."

Reagan & Taylor at Cheer Comp!