First, you must understand his core need and you, as his wife, must WANT to help fill this need. Success is most men's first, most important need in their life. It isn't that men don't want to be secure, it is just that they will sacrifice security in order to achieve what they consider "success" in life. The need to feel successful is the need men feel most often and it determines the quality of everything else in their lives.
Success in most mens' lives, therefore, includes:
- Discovering what they are good at and what they are not
- Men then have a need to spend time achieving those things they are good at
- Evaluating their "self worth" conncected to those things they do well
- Being totally committed to those things they do well
- Men pray for relationships that "work" on their own
- Men typically avoid the areas of life that don't "work"
- Pressure when they have to work on areas of life in which they lack confidence
- Men actually do desire to make all their relationships as simple as possible to insure success
- Confusion when things are not "working" the way they think they should
Doesn't it seem a wise decision on our part as their wives to give the gift of believing in, admiring, and encouraging the men most important to us. Instead of focusing on your husband's shortcomings, this month try something new, every day. Compliment your husband. Tell him the things you value, you admire, you appreciate. Make time in your life to help him be busy at things he feels successful at. Thank him for the things he has achieved. Compliment his best traits.
Soon you will begin to see his desire to improve in the areas that are also important to you. The biggest question on your husband's heart and mind is this....."Will I succeed at making her happy?"
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