JEALOUSY SERIES, DAY 5:

What are the Consequences of Irrational Jealousy in Marriage?

 For those who experience abnormal jealousy, the emotion sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy. As their associates try to avoid them, their worst fears of losing love and respect are realized.

 •Resentment.

 •Increased lack of trust.

 •Anger.

 •Defensiveness.

 •More arguments.

 •Need for continual reassurance.

 •Depression.

 •Desire for revenge.

 •Constant questioning.

 •Physical reactions such as trembling, feeling dizzy, change in sleep patterns, and a change in eating habits.

•End of your marriage.

 

 People who feel secure and like themselves tend to be less jealous of others and less possessive of their partners, while those who have experienced abandonment or betrayal in their lives can become overwhelmed with jealousy ... If you feel jealous, or if your partner does, it doesn’t matter. Eventually, jealousy will erode your relationship and destroy your marriage ... Jealousy is a way to exert control in a relationship ... Getting control of your jealousy does not mean getting control of your partner, it means getting a handle on your own emotions.

JEALOUSY SERIES, DAY 4

JEALOUSY SERIES, DAY 4:

WHY ARE PEOPLE JEALOUS?

Why are People Jealous?

  Jealousy can be caused by many factors.

 •Unrealistic expectations about marriage in general.

 •Unrealistic expectations about your relationship with your spouse.

 •A misguided sense of ownership of your spouse.

 •Hurtful experience of abandonment in the past.

 •Poor self-image.

 •Insecurity.

 •Fear of being abandoned or betrayed.

 •Fear of losing someone or something important to them.

 •Intense possessiveness.

 •A desire to control.

Do you see any of these characteristics in yourself?   Examine yourself, not your spouse and determine if any of these pertain to you.  What can you do to change any of this?  Do you think you even NEED to change any of these things?

Let’s get this discussion going.  We can all learn from one another.  Share your experiences.  You can comment anonymously.

~Maria

 

JEALOUSY SERIES, DAY 3:

JEALOUSY SERIES, DAY 3:

What do jealous people feel? 

What Do Jealous People Feel?

 A. Jealous individuals experience a multitude of feelings including fear, anger, humiliation, sense of failure, feeling suspicious, threatened, rage, grief, worry, envy, sadness, doubt, pain, and self-pity.

Jealousy keeps us under a sense of discouraging frustration and disappointment. It makes us gloomy. It is such a depressing feeling that we cannot tell about it to even our best friends nor can we contain it within ourselves. Consequently, it leaves us with an inconvenience of a peculiar misery and if allowed to grow unchecked beyond a limit, it works like a slow poison to our healthy nature.

Is this you?  Search yourself and ask yourself: Am I fearful?  Am I angry?  Am I a failure?  Do I have feelings of envy?

Leave your comments below.  You can do this anonymously.  Let’s talk about this.

~Maria

 

JEALOUSY SERIES, DAY 2:

IS JEALOUSY NATURAL?

 

Is Jealousy Natural?

 In relationships where feelings of jealousy are mild and occasional, it reminds the couple not to take each other for granted. It can encourage couples to appreciate each other and make a conscious effort to make sure the other person feels valued ... Jealousy heightens emotions, making love feel stronger and sex more passionate. In small, manageable doses, jealousy can be a positive force in a relationship. But when it's intense or irrational, the story is very different ... Occasional jealousy is natural and can keep a relationship alive, but when it becomes intense or irrational it can seriously damage a relationship.

Darrell & I have jealous “streaks” on occasion.  It’s true that it does remind me how special I am to him.  I, also, have jealous “spurts”.   It is natural when it’s in small doses & not extreme.  Don’t feel bad if you have jealous tendencies.  Express it to your significant other, discuss it & move on.  Do not let it fester and blow up in your face!  Don’t let it become too serious before you address it.  At the same time, don’t let it be irrational or unwarranted.  That will just drive a wedge between the two of you.

Thanks for reading today’s question.  Leave any comments or questions below!  Tomorrow’s question:  What do jealous people feel?

 

Jealousy Series: 10/23/12

 

Today, we are beginning a series titled "Jealousy In A Marriage".  I realize this will be a very touchy subject for many.  But, it must be addressed.  We hope to help you overcome jealousy in marriage.  Let's get started.

 

We will have an question and answer session, if you will.  Please join in our conversation.  We can all benefit from the testimonials from others.

 

Day 1:

 

What is Jealousy?

 

A.  Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat -- real or imagined -- to a valued relationship or to its quality. A nationwide survey of marriage counselors indicates that jealousy is a problem in one third of all couples coming for marital therapy.

A little jealousy is reassuring and may even be programmed into us. It’s very common. A lot of jealousy is scary, and has driven people to some very dangerous behavior. There’s no reason to believe that jealousy will improve with time or marriage ... Because jealousy goes right to the core of the self and its roots are deep, it is not something that can be banished by wishful thinking.

Whether you are the jealous partner or whether your spouse is the jealous one, irrational jealousy can eventually destroy your marriage.

So, today....think long and hard about this subject.  Are you the jealous partner?  Is your spouse?  If you have overcome jealousy in your marriage, share with us how you did it and how you benefitted from it.

TOMORROW:  Is Jealousy natural?

Thanks for taking the time out to read my blog.  Hopefully, you will benefit and improve your marriages along the way.  Until tomorrow friends.....

 

 

 

Today's Marriage Minutes with Maria:



What Makes Marriage Worthwhile?

* Mutual commitment and faith in God.

* We love each other and are best friends who inspire each
   other and stand together through the difficult times.

* We like each other, we let each other be ourselves,
   and we work together well.

* The support we give to each other during the good times
   and the not-so-good times.

 

 

The more you work as a "team", the closer you will become.  Darrell & I do almost everything together.....be it life decisions, financial matters, kids' activities....even chores around the house.  We are very close & I firmly believe it is because we tackle everything together.  Try to be closer to your spouse by doing more things together!

 

 

 

THOMAS CHARLES FULCHER

Eleven years ago, today, at 1:03 p.m., I gave birth to the most perfect litte blonde-haired, blue-eyed boy!  Thomas Charles Fulcher.....Charles is after my dad.  We had narrowed it down to either Thomas or Samuel.  We let Dalton pick between the two.  Obviously, Thomas won out.  He was a scheduled C-Section because he was breach.  The mid-wife tried several times to turn him the week previous to his birth.  My doctor decided that when we went in for surgery, we could try again if I wanted to.  Something told me to not bother & just proceed with the C-Section.  So, we did.  And, thank goodness we did!  When the doctor lifted him out, he realized the cord was around his neck several times.  This is why he couldn't stay turned down the previous week.  The cord was pulling him back breach.  And, had we tried to turn him before surgery and deliver him vaginally, he surely would have been choked by his own cord.  It was the most horrible recovery.  But, he was perfect in every way & I'd do it a million times over again!  This child has been the light of everyone's life that he has touched.  He greets everyone and I mean EVERYONE with a hug.  He is loving, kind & caring for the all the lives he enters.  He is bright & continues to amaze us all with his huge love for reading!  He loves soccer and archery.  He is also quite the comedian!  Today, I want to wish my precious child, Thomas Charles Fulcher, a Happy 11th Birthday!  We all love you so much, Tom-Tom!

Love always,
Mommy